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YET, I still have love for God, and love Him even more, and Respect Christ

Man....I've been all churched out!..believe it or not...to me they are like any other organizations that try to recruit....believe it or not...I've been apart of the "soul winning team"...you know the team that goes out and tries to get people to join the church...then get saved.. instead of just getting saved and let God lead them the where they supposed to go then judge them for not coming....I've been apart of the "praise team"....you know the praise team that only sings the songs the PASTORS want to hear..you know, the one that cant keep musicians because the PASTOR wont pay them unless they 'show themselves faithful'....yeah...I've been apart of the "intercessory prayer team"....you know the the one....that prays every Tuesday night... in prayer but never really praying for anyone but ourselves.(the church body)....however we did have some people that did pray for others, but ourselves were our general concern..oh I've been churched...I've been labeled that "faithful member'..you know..the one that's always the first to show up for service to turn the lights on.....play music before people arrive......oh yea...man.......going to church everyday of the week....not having a job..because the pastor says "jobs are for people who don't believe God. is their provider.."..but then when the light bill on the church cant be paid....then ..."everyone must get a job"...lol....yeah...i have been churched....struggling to keep members in....but they leave because the PASTOR says something off the pulpit to offend them so severely they don't want to come back...and usually it had nothing to do with the Word....yea...I've been churched....And i have been all Churched out!!
However, in all of the stress and drama of Churchism, I've gained and understanding of Who God Really Is...and in that  I've known Who I Really Am..because it takes a really strong person of Faith to stay in a dying ministry for 3 years...It takes humility and strength that only God can give..It takes the love of God. So, do i regret any of the things I've done?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!! Because those experiences have made me a stronger person..even through all the self doubt, humiliation, heartache, and pain, ...that i went through in that ministry...yet still have love for God, and love Him even more, and Respect Christ for what he did for me....i have a better understanding of what Christ went through when he died for me...through all of his self doubt, humiliation, heartache and pain, ..in the end..he still had love....So i say, if you can find a small tiny place in your heart that can love someone when they've beat you down till you have nothing left, then and only then can you say you truly have the "LOVE OF GOD"....beloved, be inspired, be encouraged and uplifted, but most of all be yourself and have no regrets..